“A month is too little, right?”… or something like that.

I felt sad when he said that. As if it didn’t really matter. As if our first month didn’t matter. I said it wasn’t a big deal because I didn’t want to freak him out but I have this thing about celebrating even the tiniest things. As long as it has made someone happy, then it’s worth celebrating. Obviously, he doesn’t feel the same way as I do. And it kind of hurts. To be with someone who claims to be so jaded. I’ve never really known what it’s like to be so jaded that small things remain that way-small, insignificant, not worth a small greeting or celebration.

I don’t know if I should cry or be understanding. I’ve never ever known someone like him. It’s so disconcerting. Sometimes, his attitude pulls me down too. It’s so tiring to resist a force so much stronger than me. But I know deep down that I must resist because I’ve already made a vow that I won’t ever grow tired of the world and all it encompasses-emotions, failures, accomplishments, material possessions, hypocrisy, bigotry, contradictions and all.

I really don’t hope to change him. He’s a stubborn man. I guess all I can do is be myself with him for as long as things permit. Until I can take all these resisting forces.


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