Suicide

For me, this is a very controversial subject. Because for one thing, I have different stands on this issue. Sometimes I feel like it’s the stupidest (forgive me for using the word…ü) thing in the world. At certain times, I feel like it’s so misunderstood. It’s confusing for me. I don’t know about others out there, how they feel about suicide, but that’s just how it is for me.

About it being stupid, apologies to all those I offend. None of it is really intended. But it is. Especially when someone tells you that they’ll kill themselves because you have hurt them. Are they trying to make you feel guilty? Well, in my case, my boyfriend tells me that he’s gonna die in hopes of making me feel bad about myself and the decisions I make. But I know better because killing yourself is a decision YOU make.

However, no matter how unexplainably stupid it is, I know where I come from so my feelings edge more towards empathy than crticism. I was, and sometimes still am, suicidal. The weird notion of being free from everything is my reason. People don’t really understand suicidal people. Everyone thinks that we’re crazy and weird and stupid and unreasonable. They should be thankful that we tell them we want to die (aside from the senario I presented) because that means we still want to live.

Oh well. This has been an on-the-spot thing. Not really thought about that well. Just typing the words that come off the top of my head. Am I making sense?

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