War Could Be Tomorrow!

I am so scared at the thought of war. It paralyzes my mind and body that I really don’t know what to do. It’s so scary for me. I don’t know why, but I read and reread stuff about the worst war in the history of man (for me, anyway): World War II. Especially when I’m bored and feeling nothing. I do so because I want to feel something. But when I finally feel the depression sinking in… when I finally feel the despair and sorrow… when I finally feel the anger and hatred… I resent myself for reading.

Last night a show on Zone Reality reminded me of the feelings World War II elicits in me. For the whole morning today, all I felt was dread and fear. I couldn’t stop it. Then when I visited my boyfriend and talked to him, I realized that I was being crazy. I remembered the reason why I was put here on earth. I also realized that I was completely wasting my time by worrying incessantly about grades and what other people think of me. And aside from that, I realized that I have never done anything with any meaning for me. It’s always been school, school, school and school. Nothing else. School isn’t squat in the real world.

War could happen the next day or the next year. I guess I better do worthwhile things when I still can. I wanna sing about injustice when I still can. I wanna write for peace and freedom when it is still concrete in people’s minds. I wanna save lives when I’m not struggling for my own. I wanna change myself when there is still a point in doing so.

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